Why I Decided not to Sell Nevernaire

crystal amar

A few months ago, I listed Nevernaire on a blog selling website. I half heartedly promoted the sale and waited to see what happened. I got a few offers. But, every time that someone offered to buy Nevernaire, I couldn’t help but wonder… why? What did they want to do with it? Would they change it? Would they get rid of my content?

These thoughts weighed heavily on my mind and I certainly needed the money. However, I declined every offer. In the last few months, I have learned a lot about why I started this and why I know I’ll be the one that sees it through to the end… whatever that may be.

The Why

If you follow the blog or podcasts, or any of the Nevernaire social media accounts, then you probably know that I have been very sick for a couple of years. It started in 2020, when I was living in Fort Myers, Florida.

I was so tired… but this wasn’t any ordinary tired. I was straight up exhausted. I couldn’t hold a job literally to save my life and I ended up living in my car with my two rescue pups, Belle and Gizmo, for four months.


During these four months, I couldn’t work because I couldn’t leave the dogs alone in the car for hours at a time. I didn’t have any friends or family in Florida. I had no one that could help me and I couldn’t make it back to Massachusetts, where my people are located.

The Birth of Nevernaire

Before I was evicted, I had gotten the idea that I wanted to start a blog about Indie performers. I started Nevernaire on a whim, with a story article about my friend Adam. Adam is an AMAZING graffiti artist and I wanted to feature his work. I had zero following, I didn’t really know what I was doing at all, but I kept going.


This blog ended up being what kept me sane while I was living in the car. I would park at Walmart at night and write or sleep. Then, in the morning I would go to a place with wifi and sit in the car and publish my article.

While I was living in the car, my health started to get worse and I was afraid that I was going to have to give my babies up for adoption, but I kept going everyday, looking for a solution. That’s when I met the women that run the Angel Wings House in Cape Coral, FL. I was accepted into their shelter and they helped me find a foster family for the dogs, just while I got back on my feet.


When I moved into the shelter, the pandemic had pretty much just started. I was so sick and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. But, I had to get a job so that I could get an apartment and get the dogs back.

I started working at a car dealership near the shelter and after two weeks, I was laid off due to lockdown. Once we were locked down, I started going to a really bad place. I was trapped in the shelter. My dogs were with a foster family and I was all alone. I didn’t have any money and I didn’t think that I would ever get my babes back and get my life on track.

What’s Wrong with Me?

During lockdown, I was fortunate enough to find a Doctor that would see me. At this point, it was nearly impossible for me to get out of bed. I wasn’t eating, all I did was sleep. I just felt horrible all the time.

I went to see the Doctor and they basically had no idea what was wrong with me. They took blood…. I assumed that they were testing it to see what was going on, but the Doctor just couldn’t seem to find the cause of my chronic illness.



While I was in the shelter, I started Crystallized Beats podcast. I used my phone and my headphones to record the first several episodes. I couldn’t afford any real equipment and if you listen to the older episodes, you can tell. I needed things to keep me occupied. I was deeply depressed and seriously contemplating suicide. I had a choice to make. I could stay in my current situation, sick and tired and depressed. Or, I could take control of my life back.

The beginning of a new chapter

The first thing that I did was apply for unemployment. About three weeks later, I received a retroactive check and I moved out of the shelter and into a small, studio apartment that I could afford on my unemployment benefits. We were still in lockdown and I couldn’t get a job. I started to produce a blog article and a podcast episode per day and I did that for several months. That’s when Nevernaire first started to really take off.

This good feeling didn’t last long. Soon, I was taken over again by this strange illness and I couldn’t function. I would sleep for nearly twenty hours a day and the rest of the day, I would struggle to take the dogs out and do what I could around the house.

After about a month of Hell in this apartment, I ended up in the Emergency room. The Doctor listened to what I had to say, ran some tests and came back and told me that I was Diabetic and I probably had been for a couple of years. Not knowing that I was a Diabetic, I was unaware that the reason I felt so horrible was my blood sugar being out of whack and out of control.


I got on medication and started to be careful about what I ate and I started to feel better. All the while, I plugged away at Nevernaire and built the blog and podcast up to a respectable following.

Why am I telling you this?


Nevernaire was there for me… as strange as that sounds. I was making friends in the process of building the brand and I loved doing it. I always managed to get out an article and a podcast episode whether I was sick, homeless or whatever. I had found my passion and I wasn’t going to let it go.

Over the last three years, I have struggled again and again with complications from the Diabetes. I have been hospitalized countless times and other times, I was sick with random infections that took over my life.

In the last year, it has been so bad that I have had to cancel several interviews and postpone articles. But, I never stopped. I promoted over 250 Indie Hip hop artists for free in the first three years of Nevernaire. I never asked anyone for a thing except to share the articles and episodes in order to create a grass roots promotion movement and gain more followers.

I fully stand behind every single artist that I have featured on the blog. I have always been picky about who I will feature and I have never sold out. I believe in these artists and I continue to promote them to this day. Even the ones that I am out of touch with that I featured years ago.


So, what’s going to happen to Nevernaire?

I have absolutely no intention of selling Nevernaire. In the past six months, I have redesigned the blog and I have started interviewing Golden Era Celebs and I’m loving it. I can’t imagine anyone else running my blog unless it was Kwake (my cohost on Crystallized Beats podcast).

I am going to start charging for promo though. For three years, I have paid all hosting, advertising, etc. and I have spent countless hours making sure that all of my content is 110% to my satisfaction and to the satisfaction of the artists that I feature. I meticulously create promo videos for social media and keep up with posting on three different platforms with six different profiles and over 30,000 followers.

Not to mention, the addition of the celebrity interviews has brought a whole new level of readership and listeners and Nevernaire is listed on several different top lists for Hip hop blog as well as podcasts.

The bottom line is, Nevernaire is my baby. I built it from the ground up through the toughest time in my life and I’m not letting anyone take over now. Not when I’m so close to breaking through.


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