I can FINALLY see the light at the end of this dark and miserable tunnel that I have been walking down for six years. When I last wrote, I was thinking about getting off the Adderall. I was tired of the ups and down and the way that it controlled my life.
In the last two weeks. I have been getting off the Adderall. To most, I have just been sick but in reality, I have been withdrawing. They will tell you that you don’t withdraw from Adderall physically, they are full of shit!
For the first week, I was on twenty Mg a day. Which is about half of what I have been prescribed for the last six years. For me, after all this time, twenty MG of Adderall might as well be a decaf cup of coffee. But, what I would have given in the last week for just one of those ten MG pills.
For the last week, I have been completely off of Adderall. The first day was no sweat. There was still Adderall in my system, presumably, so I was ok. I wasn’t happy about it, but I was alright.
The second day, and every day since, I have been completely fucking miserable! Not so much the physical stuff, but it was definitely there. Night sweats and restless legs AND arms! And the cramping. The cramping was the worst part. It was like my muscles were contracting and they wouldn’t let go afterward. Just non-stop Charlie horses all over my body!
After day three, I was tired of sleeping. I had one Ritalin and I took it and it helped me get up a bit and do a little bit around the house. After that, I was right back in bed. My body has felt so heavy and exhausted. Even though I have wanted to be up and doing stuff, I just couldn’t will my body to get the hell up!
Yesterday morning, I woke up around 6am and I felt great. Psychologically anyway, I felt great. But, I was still having the same heavy and tired feeling. I had shit that I had to do though, and managed to get up and do it.
Today, I woke up at 6am and felt even better! I am still very tired. But, I got up, had coffee and took the dogs for a walk. Not just out in the back yard which was the best I could possibly muster over the last few days. I jumped in the pool and woke right up. That’s when I decided to smoke a few bong rips and write this article.
I feel so much better! It took two weeks. And that was with weaning myself off. But, it can be done people. Will I ever be the same? I don’t know. I’m concerned about my age. I have been on Adderall for all of my thirties… I don’t know what being this old is like without it. I’m concerned I am going to gain weight from my other meds, again I just don’t know though. I might never be the same person I was before I started taking Adderall. I will certainly never be the same person that I was on Adderall. But, I am going to be ok. And that makes me so fucking happy!
If you are suffering from drug dependency, please seek professional help. As someone that has done it, I know how fucking hard it is to get clean. And I know that it’s nearly impossible to get clean on your own.
If you’re suffering or you’re sadly, watching someone suffer from drug dependency, get help.
Go to the SAMHSA website, there is so much information there about getting the help that you need and getting clean doesn’t always mean starting over. Just starting a new. Fresh.
Help is there, you just need to ask. Just tell someone.
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